MYSTERY OF THE CRYSTAL SKULLS AND NOFACE

I went to see the new Indian Jones last night, and it was wonderful. I definitely recommend seeing it. It was funny, sweet, with great action, decent special effects, and perfect acting. One small caveat (no spoiler), when watching, don't forget that the movies (all three before) had sci-fi twists to them. That's all I have to say. Shia LaBeouf, call me.

One recommendation for going to see it though. Don't go with a faceless man. And I'm not talking about your date. Last night I was again at the Cinerama Dome and as I was waiting for my friend, I saw a man without a face. And not the good kind like Mel Gibson with burns on half his face. No, this dude literally had half a face. No bones from his eyes down, so just skin. I know, this sounds very sci-fi and creepy, and well, it was. As we were walking into the theatre I whispered to my friend that we had a man with no face in the theatre with us. Turns out, when we got to our seats, the man was sitting behind us. Okay, whatever, I'm glad he's getting out there and doing stuff without a face. But, he totally lost me 20 minutes into the movie when he fell asleep and started snoring. Normally I would have thrown some water in his face (oops) but I didn't want to turn around and see who was snoring because I didn't want the no face guy to think I was looking at him. And what if Noface had a breathing problem? And the worst, what if I turned around and seeing it from the front scared me enough to make me scream? So, I didn't turn around, for fear of all of those things. Instead, I suffered through another hour and a half of snoring. Nobody did anything. I would have nudged, or reached for something in my purse, accidentally hitting Noface awake. I was hoping some of the loud action scenes would wake him up, but they didn't. Of course, because I didn't want to turn around, I didn't know if it was Noface. But then, the credits started and Noface was still snoring. At that point I turned around and yup, it was him, slumped down in his seat, with his head on the poor woman next to him's shoulder. He slept through nearly the entire movie, and the 5 minutes of credits. The lights came up and everyone left, and he was still sitting there. Then I got scared, what if Noface was dead? I mean, he doesn't have a face, obviously something is wrong with him. And how embarrassing, not only are people staring at you because you have no face, but they're staring at you because you're the jackass that fell asleep in the loudest theatre in the country watching the loudest movie so far this year with a zillion gun shots, explosions, and the best iconic music ever (arguably), and start snoring. But then I realized, no, I'm not going to feel sorry for Noface. If it was anyone else I would be pissed, and annoyed, and I was pissed and annoyed. Go to your house and sleep. Don't ruin my movie experience. He didn't ruin it, for real, the movie was excellent, just, if you go see it, make sure everyone in the theatre has a face.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

In preparation for the new Indiana Jones movie (coming out May 22nd!) there's an Indy trilogy today on The SCI FI Channel. I've just caught the tail end of Raiders. Man this movie is good. Harrison Ford is one sexy beast. And Karen Allen is so great in this. I'm so happy she's in the new one as well. This is a classic movie, probably one of the first movies I ever saw. It came out in '81, I mean, well before I was born, sure.



Classic moments though, the silhouette when they're digging for the ark, the snakes, the whip, the guy Indy shoots in the market, such a great movie. If you don't like this movie you're sick in the head, blind, deaf and dumb. I mean, it's all subjective.

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR 2

I didn't expect much from this. I mean, it could never be as good as the first two Alien movies. And it wasn't. But, it was actually pretty entertaining. And, the really good news is it was completely unpredictable. Usually with movies like these I'm like, "cue the bad guy", "cue the alien", "cue dumb girl". But, I found myself, 20 minutes in, not knowing what was going to happen. And trust me, that's a good thing. The predator is bad ass. I mean, he always was, even when he was kicking the Governator's ass twenty odd years ago. I mean, the whole dread lock thing is kinda ridiculous, but is it wrong that he's sorta hot, all big and muscular? I did not just say that.

PATHFINDER

Honestly, I don't care what this movie is about. Karl Urban is in it. And quite frankly, his hotness is the only good thing about this movie. I mean, yeah, it's got some pretty good fight scenes, but as much as it pains me to say, a hot guy in a loin cloth doesn't make up for the silliness of the story. Wait, did I just say that?

See what I mean?

I think I'm being too harsh. The movie didn't totally suck. I mean, it sucked, but not bad enough that if you didn't know what to watch and this was the only option you should jump off the roof or anything. And did I mention Karl Urban is in a loin cloth?

27 DRESSES

I had to be in the mood to watch this movie. As a single girl, romantic comedies annoy me. Give me a kick ass action movie any day over a silly romantic comedy. Not that I don't like them at all, I do, some of my favorite movies are romantic comedies (French Kiss, Never Been Kissed, The Sweetest Thing).

Anyway, this movie was cute. That's about it. It didn't blow me away. I mean, if you're going to get it from Neflix, it's a nice date movie. It's a little annoying at times, really, why would you be in 27 weddings. I don't have 27 friends. Anyway, that's really all I have to say about that.

STEPHEN KING'S THE MIST

Last weekend I decided to scare myself sh*tless and watch a Stephen King movie. I'm home by myself for a few weeks while my roommate makes people beautiful on a movie set in the middle of Nevada, so I made sure it was during the day that I watched this.

I didn't expect much because I really hadn't heard of it that much when it was out. But the cast was stellar, and although Tom Jane is one cheesy ass mofo (who is hotter then all hell, especially his body), I've liked him in every movie I've seen with him in it, even if the movie itself is cheesy. Hello Deep Blue Sea, I'm talking to you!

Anyway, it was well acted, scary and pretty damn unpredictable. I wanted to beat Marcia Gay Harden with a long stick over and over again, and the ending was (not a spoiler) completely crazy and unexpected.

I won't give away WTF(rak) is going on, but what's in the mist is nasty. Check it, out, definite recommendation.

TRADING PLACES

The other night I was sitting at home, it was like midnight, on a Saturday night. And, um, I had just been out partying with a bunch of people because I'm so cool I have lots of plans with many cool people. Yeah. Anyway, the movie Trading Places came on. What a brilliant movie this is. Do you guys remember it? Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd at their best. Okay, Eddie Murphy was amazing in many movies, but this was one of the first.

Classic.

What struck me odd though was, remember in the end (I'm going to give a spoiler here because it's been 30 years, suck it) when they corner the market by selling high and then buying low? How does that work? I remember when I saw this as a kid, um, on TV, not in the theatre, I'm not that old, nor would my mom let me watch something like this with cursing and boobies when I was six, I remember that I totally understood how they made money. Is my brain going?

BABY MAMA

Eh. That's how I felt after I saw this. Was it, funny, yeah. Was it cute, yeah. Would I ever want to see it again? Eh. I mean, it's Tiny Fey, who is one of the funniest people ever. I thought Mean Girls was pretty damn good, she was the first female head writer in S&L history, and 30 Rock is freakin' genius. But, again, this was just, eh. She played an interesting character, and Amy Poehler was, as always, brilliant, but I really didn't care. It was way predictable. The one surprise was Dax Shephard who was charming as a dead beat dad loser type. And of course, every time Steve Martin was on screen it lit up. If you have Netflix, I would definitely put it in your queue, but beyond that, don't waste the money.

IRON MAN

When I first saw a trailer for this, something about it turned me off. I don't know if it was the cheesiness of the suit, the wanna-be heavy metal, pseudo-cool music or the idea of an arms dealer as a hero that turned me off, but I was not having it. Oh, and Robert Downey, Jr. as a superhero? As Cher from my generation's Fast Times would say, "As if!".

But, for two weekends in a row it reigned at the box office. So, when my friend and I decided to see a movie, randomly, on a Tuesday night (I never go out on weekdays), we both decided to try this whole Iron Man thing out. And, we decided to see it at the Cinerama Dome, which, for those of you who don't live in LA, is a retro like theatre that has state-of-the-art technology and the screen is HUGE. It's beautiful. Anyway, I reluctantly went to see it because I really wasn't sure I even wanted to see it yet, but whatever. My friend was sorta the same way, he never wanted to see it, but heard it was good.

I knew the night was going to be good because the trailers at the front of the movie were Indiana Jones, Hulk and The Dark Knight, all of which were brand spankin' new. All they needed was a Wanted trailer and I would have had an orgasm.

Anyway, the movie started and can I say, IT ROCKED! Yes, I think I can say it. I don't know if it's because I was so apathetic about seeing it or what, but I was laughing throughout the entire movie, in a good way, not at how bad it was like I've done with other movies. The special FX were killer, and completely flawless and believable.

One SEXY BEAST! Am I right or am I right? Right?

Can I talk for a second about Mr. RDJ? Homey was H-O-T. I'm not really into the whole Rat Pack anymore, they just don't do it for me like they used to, because, let's face it, they're old. But good sweet baby Jesus was RDJ hot. And not in that Ashton Kutcher "I want to jump your bones because I'm 14" hot. No, it's in that "Holy mother of Jesus when the hell did you get so f*ckable" way. Is that wrong?

So, the moral of this story is, go see Iron Man. Go see it, I implore you. One thing you should know before you go see it though, stay through the credits. I didn't know that and will have to go back and see it just for that reason, although, paying $14 (!!!) again would be well worth it. Yeah, it was that good.

WELCOME MOVIE LOVERS!

I've decided to create a page to talk about movies. Now, I'm not going to go see every new movie that comes out, I wish I had the time and money ($14 tickets!!! WTF???) but I don't. But, that doesn't stop me from watching movies all the time. In the last few weeks I've seen about ten of them. I do, however, also watch movies from awhile ago. My goal here is to just talk about movies. For all of you spoilerphobes, I WILL NOT GIVE AWAY SPOILER! I will talk about the movie, if I like the plot/characters/general idea without giving away plot points. That said, I'm still going to talk about it, and I may not tell you that the main character gets killed in the last act, but I will discuss some things in detail that I don't like or like. I know that sounds totally contradictory to my statement moments ago, that I will not give away spoilers, but trust. I will not give away critical information. But, if, like some people, you feel that just telling you who stars in it, or seeing a trailer is too much, then feel free to not read the reviews. I hope you all enjoy the new page. Expect pictures to come soon!